I spent a large portion of this week engulfed in worry. I worried about stupid things with little importance to the true meaning of what matters in life. I had to take a step back yesterday when Cody got sick. It was as if God was saying this is important. This is what is worth worrying about. It caused me to reflect over the last year of worry.
When we get a life changing diagnosis of any kind you find so many things that distract from the moment. You get wrapped in the diagnosis, engulfed in the treatment and then the what ifs take center stage. Little issues tend to turn to mountains. A mention of something as small as a laundry that didn't get put away suddenly seems it will topple your very existence. I can tell you from a year of reflection, this doesn't matter. The mountain of laundry, the child who is bothering your child at school, the package you forgot to send on time none of it will make a difference in the long run. You will eventually finish the laundry, instead of telling your child to ignore the kid at school tell them to talk to him, get to know him, and the stupid package, well it will eventually get mailed. It's the moments I missed in worrying about the things out of my control I will never regain and quite frankly, God told me to stop worrying about them.
So starting today, I will live in the moment, relish the high points and learn from the moments of doubt. Look towards the future and start each day with the best of intentions, I will try to remain fully present in the moments and look for the ones that will take my breath away. This week in the mist of the fog, I had to reflect on the moments I almost missed. Each morning started with my boys greeting the day, somewhat sleepy but fully in the present. At work I was able to share some great moments of laughter in what can be a stressful day, I got to care for my sick little guy and even lay down to nap with my two best friends, I got wonderful encouragement out of the blue from friends who know me and have seen my soul and from a friend who has known me a short time but has taken the time to know my family like no other. I reconnected with a family who has always been our family and Chad and I shared a skype conversation with two of our best friends! I had dinner with my family each night and shared each night with a man I love more than he will know. The Lucky Cast Club added another new family to our family and I came across a mention of our blog on the Shriners Hospital for Children's page. I learned lessons of patience and saw moments of grace. I indeed learned whats important. I would love to know what you see when you reflect on the moments of grace this week. It is hard to do sometimes but will make the mist disappear.