Saturday, February 26, 2011

Lost but not alone

This week ended on a different note.  I lost my job on Thursday afternoon.  I am still going through the feelings of inadequacy, loss, and failure.  I believe, as I was told, it was a financial decision but that doesn't stop the nagging what did you do wrong that plagues a weakened mind.  I am forced to find opportunity in this. 

I found myself frantically searching for a lifeline in all this.  I reached out to my family first and found unconditional love, next I shared with my best friend and found unconditional love, third I turned to the women & man who have been my lifeline through the darkened year and a half of my life and once again found unconditional love.  I can't say that I am surprised by some who gave me their support.  My family has always been here no matter what or how I do something, my best friend holy cow she has been through my teen years and adult years and always stood with me or carried me when I wasn't strong enough to stand, but it's the precious support group I have found in this group that really touched my soul.  These people have known me a year and half through some of the darkest hours of my life and love me unconditionally.  That speaks volumes to the group of families we have formed. 

The concept of how hard casting life is came up this week in one of our cast mom's discussions.  I think we may have frightened some of the new parents.  I hope this will help ease the heart of those who are new to this process.  Cast life has it's ups and downs.  To say it is a cake walk would be a lie.  The cast is heavy and has to change the way you do almost everything.  The little ones have a tough go of it for the first few casts.  They have to adapt to their new accessory, deal with grief of loss of normalcy in a way no toddler is equipped to cope, but finally their is always acceptance on their part.  It is the constant of this process that never changes.  They adapt, adjust and move on long before we as parents can.  Give them time, give yourself time, and be patient with the process.  As parents we adjust much slower.  We are not near as resilient.  We grieve the entire time our children are casting.  It hits like crashing waves many times, just when we regain our footing we are hit again.  The thing to keep in mind is you have joined a family of lifeguards always their to rescue you from the sea if treading water gets to much.  You will never have to fear you are talking to much about your little one, because that is what we are talking about too.  If you have apprehension about life, relationships, jobs, homes, do we.  We have all been where you are and you have found a sanctuary for sharing.  You may feel lost, but you will never feel alone.  You have found a second home. 

My Beautiful friends have been on "Catie Watch" since Thursday.  They are taking turns sending me messages of love and support so I don't get caught up in the self loathing faze of loss.  Chrissy sent me this song to add to the soundtrack of my life....Thanks to all my friends who are looking out for me!  I love you all!

1 comment:

  1. I played the song and danced in my filthy living room with tears streaming down both cheeks. From the ashes something amazing will emerge! Thank you my friends for showing me the spark that will light the fire. Catie